Living with Psychotic Depression: Personal Stories and Insights

Understanding Psychotic Depression

There are many types of mental illness some considered minor others major. But personally seen the devastating effects of mental illness.

For years I was told I had BPD with associated psychosis, agoraphobia, anxiety. But then the psychiatrist diagnosed me with a condition called Psychotic Depression.

Psychotic depression is not a term many people hear until it touches their life. For some, it’s a diagnosis; for others, a hidden truth they never had words for.

It is a severe form of major depressive disorder (MDD). That includes psychosis a break from reality through hallucinations or delusions.

What Is Psychotic Depression?

Psychotic depression blends the hopelessness of clinical depression with the unreality of psychosis. The result is a state where:

• Delusions (false beliefs) often focus on guilt, punishment, illness, or worthlessness.
• Hallucinations (often auditory or visual) align with negative internal narratives.
• The person lose touch with reality, unable to distinguish fact from fear.

It can be terrifying, isolating, and life-threatening.

Core Symptoms:

• Deep, prolonged sadness
• Loss of interest in life
• Fatigue or inability to move
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Psychotic symptoms:
• Hearing voices
• Believing you’ve committed unforgivable sins
• Feeling watched or judged by unseen forces

These aren’t “dramatic” feelings they are real experiences for those living through psychotic depression.

What Causes It?

Psychotic depression is often triggered by a combination of:

• Genetics (family history of mood or psychotic disorders)
• Trauma or extreme stress
• Chronic illness or disability
• Imbalance in brain chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, cortisol

It’s not your fault. And it’s more common than most think.

Treatment Options

Psychotic depression is serious but it is treatable.

• Medication: Usually a combination of antidepressants and antipsychotics
• Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT): Effective in severe or treatment-resistant cases
• Therapy: Often after stabilization, to handle trauma and build tools for recovery
• Support systems: Family, friends, and community matter

If you or someone you love is experiencing this, seek professional help right away.

A Personal Note:

“I believed I’d infected the world just by being alive. A voice in my mind confirmed it, over and over. I couldn’t tell what was real only that I was dangerous. I wanted to disappear.”

You are not alone. You are not broken beyond repair.

StormborneLore is a space where fire still burns even in the dark.

If you are in the UK:

• Call Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7)
• Text SHOUT to 8528 (crisis text line)

If you are in the USA:

• Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)